I remember way back when I was obsessed with Fall Out Boy, and I had a punk look and attitude to match. I still miss some pieces of my old much darker wardrobe, and will always be nostalgic about my skull printed hoops I sadly lost my first year of high school. Just because I've grown older it doesn't mean I have to let go of all of my memories of wanting to be a rock singer and have a surprise feature in one of Fall Out Boy's music video.I don't know what's provoking this reminiscence but it's inspiring me like wild.
I remember my first year of high school I fell in love with the punk rock genre of music because I had so much pent up frustration from the prior years of middle school. In middle school I didn't fit in at all I made some friends but underneath it all I just felt insecure and alienated from my classmates. Some of my classmates as you could imagine kids being kids chose to single me out, pick on me and as a result I built a negative tough exterior. I didn't understand at the time the only reason I was being picked on is because these kids obviously have problems as well. They called it hazing the new kid at school, but I called it bashing my confidence and stealing my self esteem.
My attitude while in high school was the product of a rough middle school experience but I couldn't let that hang around me forever eventually I let it go, and my outlook on life and people wasn't quite so dark and threatening. As I matured I came to recognize that experience as making me stronger now when I see kids in similar situations I can honestly say to them it truly does get better, and no matter what anyone else says you're the one who decides who you are.
I still love rock music and to this day, I love bands like Flyleaf, Pierce The Veil and Mariana's Trench but not because I felt I had to to uphold a tough girl image but because I just enjoy that kind of music. I decided that I wouldn't let a bad experience define who I am, that I am more than the insults, and dirty looks, I am a many faceted individual with the right to be who ever she pleases.