Sunday, April 28, 2013

Misleading Romances

     The poetry book I've written and am currently editing is all about self love. Self love is loving who you are, growing content with who you are, it's about accepting self growth and cherishing it, it's about being better to yourself because you are worth it. The benefits of self love are infinite. Self love builds your confidence, you develop better trust in who you are. It also helps decrease the hate in the world, if you love yourself truly, you don't have time to be a hater, because you learn to accept the insecurities you can't change and not take them out on someone else.  Another benefit to practicing loving yourself is when you meet and begin to love them, you know how to do it properly. 
        If self love is such an incredible thing how come it's only preached about for the last 5 minutes of the romance film? Self love doesn't have many campaigns, and if it does it's not nearly as promoted as other kinds of love portrayed in romance films and novels, that are everywhere all the time. Romantic films and books bring in a lot of money because people relate to them and they enjoy the fantasy, which isn't a bad thing. The only issue I have with promoting romance films and novels on such a huge platform is the lack of other kinds of romance, other kinds of love which are just as beneficial or even more so. 
     I'd relate to a story about a person, who falls in love with themselves. Many others may not relate to self love, or find it interesting, which makes incredibly sad. If you can't relate to the power of self love, 9 times out of 10 it's because you haven't experienced it yet and that's something I think everyone should experience. Although self love is an incredible experience, you can't force someone to love themselves, but then again our media often forces they have to find it for themselves Often the message in these romantic films, is that true love lies in what you give to someone else and what they bring to you, not the love you have for yourself. They take romantic propaganda, someone else's story, someone else's art and makes it ugly, they distort the original message through misleading commercials and synopsis. You're probably wondering, "well during the movie obviously their message gets heard", nope. Screen writers and novelists will be edited and summaries will be molded to make the project "marketable", therefore the original message could be interpreted any kind of way by the time it gets to the masses. 
       The author or screen writer's voice often becomes silenced. Haven't you noticed the lack of interviews given to the actual author, or screen writer, but there are millions of the actors and actresses in question who portray the very characters they create. Sometimes I want to hear first hand what the author meant by the romantic tale, let me hear the words straight from their mouths, but because they aren't celebrated like actors and actresses are, they kind of stand in the back, merely content that their art finally got created. 
         Why, why go through the trouble to popularize romance, why popularize only one kind of love? Money. When society validates your worth by the kind of relationship you're in, or if you're in a relationship at all it has an effect on you. Single-living is often associated with being lonely and sad which isn't true, no one acknowledges that you are still susceptible to loneliness and sadness even whilst in a relationship, that would be bad business. 
     It's easier to make the American people insecure about the relationships they have with other people, when they popularize only certain definitions of love, and they force ideas and assumptions about love onto you. People often forget that romance novels,music, and movies is someone else's interpretation of love, and developed out of entertainment and self expression. You can't follow everything the media tells you, but that too is a message that gets silenced. 
      When you put so much importance on being in a relationship with someone else, you can neglect yourself. You find yourself in such a relationship needing, bind to outrun the hole you have in yourself due to the neglect previously stated before, that you're willing to buy whatever product, read whatever book, watch whatever movie, that relates to your relationship need. Then suddenly, you're in a relationship but it's not working out well because you still don't feel whole, so you indulge again in every product that relates to your new problem. If society can tell you what you need, they can tell you where to buy it, don't become a puppet. 
      Romantic films,novels and love songs are entertaining and sometimes relate able but they are not guides for your own relationship. Once you learn the value of your own opinion and choices which can be discovered through self love, you'll understand that your love story isn't going to be like everyone else's and that's okay.

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  2. I think it's awesome that you are celebrating self love in your book! :)