Sunday, June 23, 2013

Dark Girls

       I will be viewing the documentary Dark Girls tonight on OWN at 10 pm.The documentary discusses the dynamic that darker skinned women in the African American community face. Dark skinned women in the African American community still face various challenges when it comes to growing into their confidence and finding acceptance, because colorism is still an active discrimination process that gets conducted. What some people in the African American community is not aware of is colorism is a result of slavery. Slave owners would divide and categorize slaves, based on skin tone.Lighter toned slaves or those who were considered "passing", were given housework whereas dark toned slaves were in the fields doing more physically straining activities.This process was not made because one slave was liked more than the other, this process was made because it's easier to conquer a group of people when they are divided. I was unaware of the history of colorism when I first faced it in middle school.
         In 6th grade I disliked my skin color, I hated my hair, I hated my features. My low confidence was a source of conflict, it went against everything I was being taught. Having such low self esteem in my household was unheard of. My grandmother,aunt, mother and father always spoke about having confidence in myself no matter what, I'd nod along to their motivational speeches but that didn't stop me from crying every time I looked in the mirror.My family members voices' were never louder than the one screaming at me about how unattractive and ugly I was.
       I rarely saw girls that looked like me on TV as the leading role or models that looked like me, or women who were put on pedestals that looked like me, so what message was I being sent? I began letting the media and surrounding voices from school dictate my opinion of myself. My own view of myself began shrinking in comparison and that caused me pain.It finally hit me how long was I going to let hurtful statements and others opinions control how I feel about myself, when is enough, enough?
     I began taking ownership for my pain and decided I am no one's victim.I am not merely my outer appearance. Once I focused more on my inner healing, and finding the good within myself I found self worth. Finding self worth changed my entire perspective on myself. Once I found myself worthy of better, worthy of good I was finally in the position to love myself  inside and out. I guess that's why I've always been an advocate for self love. The media,people's opinions and society cannot appreciate, nor love you nearly as much as you can. Self love is the kind of love that never really falters and merely grows with time. Self love is a powerful kind of love that I hope everyone becomes familiar with, and I thank God I did.

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