|Heels via Rainbow, Pants and shirt via Sears|
I turned 20 yesterday and although I had a lot of fun my birthday was bittersweet.I enjoyed my birthday but on the edges of my mind lied trouble.I thought I'd have more to my life by the age of 20.I'm supposed to have more friends,more experiences,more independence,more....everything.I expected more out of life after 20 years and it also made me realize time truly is flying by.
I began to panic and doubt myself immediately after celebrating my birthday.I was thinking to myself, "I'm not doing enough,I haven't achieved enougn,I keep making crap decisions".Then I realized what the real issue is.
I spend so much time living inside of my head rethinking everything that I haven't taken enough action and I've stunted myself out of fear of things going wrong.I've come to the conclusion that the reason I haven't done much(or am afraid to do much), is because I can't control the outcome.
I have to relinquish my desire to control the outcomes of life and simply trust I have what it takes to handle any and all consequences.Life is about taking chances and being an adult is about being responsible and confident in handling the outcomes,no matter what they maybe.
When I think of adulthood and no longer being teenaged, I always imagine people who have everything figured out.The reality is NO ONE has anything figured out.We're on a planet populated by a bunch of people pursuing their goals,making plans and in the mean time, winging it the best way they can.