Friday, February 28, 2014

The Last Day




        The brand of this blog is poetry and personal style.Surprisingly I find that these particular topics don't often collaborate in the blogosphere often. I've found another blog that incorporates both style and poetry which you can see here, http://www.takeiinspirations.com/(it's an excellent blog, I definitely recommend it).As much as I encourage people to create their own brands and niches I'd be lying if I said I wasn't apprehensive at first.
When I first started introducing more of my own writing and poetry I was nervous I was going to lose the few followers I had.I was nervous no one would understand my blog.  I did it anyway because it felt right and true to myself to do it.I like to think that every person who goes out of their way to remain true to themselves are doing both themselves a favor and inspiring those who are too afraid to come out of their shells too.
So what if people don't understand my blog's brand.I feel comfortable sharing my truth and that includes both personal style and poetry.Speaking(err typing)of personal style I want to introduce you guys to a new blog challenge I'm doing for March. I'm also doing a segment on my fashion blog She Has The Eye.
      I'll be doing nothing but personal style posts for March, that means lookbooks,fashion blogger collabs,outfit of the day posts, lust lists, and some musings I have about the fashion industry.On She Has The Eye I'll be conducting interviews with fashion bloggers about social media stats, influence, and what to do with that influence.
Let me know in the comment section about your hobbies, no matter how in or out of the box they are.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Escape


I have escapist tendencies.When things look at it's worse and I literally can't control the situation any longer, I want to walk away from it altogether.The desire to escape situations I can't control or change is mind dizzying especially when you have no means of escaping.The frustration of wanting to run away and then not having the ability to is stifling.It's like having hot smoke in your chest and no water in sight.
Besides the frustration there's anxiety that kicks in. The anxiety feels as though  someone else is in your head telling you to get out repeatedly, but they speak to quickly and you can't respond.
Don't get me wrong there are good things to escapism.Some of the greatest literature and film have been created off of the basis of a means to escape.But at the end of the day you can only avoid a problem for so long.What do you do when you confront the problem and can't solve it?
Once you put forth that effort to solve the issue and there's literally nothing else you can do, then it means there's nothing left you can do.You have to let the things you can't change go and recognize the situation is out of your hands.The only thing you can do now is react as the situation unfolds and be confident in your ability to handle it.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Sing This!




I've been letting the negativity of others get to me for years.I stopped being a pack mule for other people's problems a while ago, and here's how I did it. I simply acknowledge the negativity and it's origin. I recognize it's not mine to claim.I let it go.I don't focus on it. I remove myself from it and suddenly I feel better.
That weakness and exhaustion you feel when being submerged in negativity is your mind and your heart signaling that you're going outside of yourself for the wrong reasons.You will cause so much trauma to yourself by bending out of shape to reach the negativity of another person.There are no benefits to carrying your negativity and especially the negativity of another person.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Why It's Okay to Be A Little Suspicious



Not everyone is your friend nor does everyone know how to be a friend.Be aware of who you're sharing your life with and what you're sharing.I know it can be easy to share what's in your heart because why be suspicious of other people, they're humans too.
But just like humans they are flawed and they carry experiences with them that control them in different manners.You can't control what someone else does but you can control what you do, so be aware of who you spend your  precious time and space with.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Comfort In My Temple



This poem was written out of a need for comfort.I needed to be comforted that if someone finds my appearance disturbing or unsettling then that's just my natural queen-like intimidation kicking in ;)
Believe it or not it's happened to me, while on the bus or walking through the mall I've had someone eyeball me in a rude manner.
    At first when someone looked at me in "a way" it made me want to run out of my skin but not anymore.I refuse to hate my temple just because someone else finds it appalling.My temple is mine. I can't control what your temple does and I definitely can't control what another person's temple sees.
 I can only be me, look like me, and do the things that come naturally.So if my powerful aura is too much of a threat for you then I suggest you get comfortable with being uncomfortable and relinquish the power you've already given to me, up.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Fate Just Sweeps In


   I've been using my spoken word platform as both my self expression and to bring awareness on social problems such as racism, lack of racial diversity and issues of misogyny.I know some of those topics are hot buttoned and make people uncomfortable but it's not for that purpose.
I create the videos with social problem topics because these are questions and conversations that need to be had.I'm aware of the consequences attached to speaking on controversial topics and frankly I avoided it for a very long time.
I was afraid to speak on race and misogyny because I didn't want to attract attention but I've come to the conclusion that no matter what we do our light will always attract the attention of others.
So the message behind this is that I understand your want to stay out of hot buttoned topics and I want you to know that you don't have to partake in them.But as long as I avoided speaking on such topics,it felt wrong not to put forth at least a little action.
Sometimes people aren't speaking up as an act of courage, sometimes they're doing it because it feels wrong not to.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Time to Get Dressed






I used to use my wardrobe for war.I was fighting a battle using my outfits and looks to impress and distress people who weren't worthy of my attention.Do not go out of your way to impress or "earn the opinion" of anyone about the way you look.
You cannot control how someone feels about you.In fact how someone else feels about you has nothing to do with you at all.Yep, I said it how someone else feels about you has nothing to do with you.
There are millions of factors that go into someone's perception of the world, let alone their perception of one person in particular.You will never know why someone feels some kind of way about you entirely because you're not them.
All you can do is be content with yourself and make sure you're being true to who you are.Therefore when I get dressed and someone asks "who you looking cute for", I always reply myself and if I'm feeling snappy I tell them "my damn self" lol. Now I'm going to ask you, who have you been getting dressed for?

Friday, February 21, 2014

And the Challenger Is





You know how people always say "the struggle was worth it", sometimes I question that.Actually I question my struggles a lot more than I ever have and it makes me wonder if I'm doing the right things.I'm human and I doubt myself just like anyone else.
I wonder "If I'm doing things right, why is it all so hard? Where are my opportunities? Where is my miracle,my breakthrough?"The sole reason why I'm still pursuing anything is because I want to see if my miracle ever happens.If I give in to doubt and give up, I'll always wonder what if?So even in the face of the challenges and struggles you have to keep pursuing because your breakthrough could be around the corner(or down a dozen blocks).

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I Miss Reading

I miss reading novels, badly.I miss my favorite characters. I miss visiting their adventures.I miss being able to indulge in a book of my choice without having to give a summary of it moments after.I miss reading for entertainment instead of reading for the sake of critiquing and close reading(all students understand that phrase).
I miss those books because it was a brief second to get out of my head and into someone else's.What do you do to get out of your head for a while?







Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I Woke Up Like This


Think of all the great things you've done and accomplished, no matter their size.Think about all the greatness you've put into the world, now think about how every morning you're given the opportunity to do it again.Waking up every morning in one piece is a blessing in itself, don't take it for granted.This poem is celebrating all the opportunity with each morning.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Nothing Goes According to Plan

Your plan for success is going to hit a snag, but you can still be successful.It took me a very long and painful time convincing myself that even when things don't go according to plan, that doesn't mean your dreams have to be over.
I'm a person who's all about plans. I have plans A-E written upstairs in a notebook as we speak.You can imagine my devastation when my plans go up in smoke because it can't survive the toxic air of reality, but that's a part of life. When things don't go according to plan you take what's left and make the best out of it, and at least you can say you gave it a good a try.
So this is today's PSA that plans don't always work out, but you still have to keep working because your goals are worth the effort.








Monday, February 17, 2014

Emotional Lows


    Sometimes it's really difficult for me to write poetry because it can be hard to find something to write about.Believe it or not, I'm not always swimming around in the depths of my consciousness.Sometimes I think the reason we're not always on an emotional high or an emotional low is because our emotions need time to rest before the next beginning.So when you can't determine how you feel immediately, relax-your emotions are just taking a break for a second.If you feel the need to feel something immediately feel happy.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Be Nice To Yourself Damn It


        I am incredibly hard on myself and I've been taking steps towards getting out of that.It's actually pretty great being more encouraging to myself versus critical ad pressuring. Looking back on my previous behavior it really makes me wonder what made me think being hard on myself was a good idea?
    What about verbally berating myself seem like the answer?I guess we'll never know why I thought being overtly critical to myself was a good idea because I'm definitely putting an end to that behavior, forever.The world is tough enough without being my own worse enemy.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Yesterday Was Valentine's Day


Yesterday was Valentine's day and I spent it eating junk food and spending time with my gorgeous family.I think a lot of people forget that love goes past just couples and significant others, and this why all those jilted "I hate Valentine's day" remarks come from.
     You don't have to be in a relationship to experience love.If you literally can't think of one person who loves you, remember self love counts as love too.It's a sad thing when people forget there are various forms of love.The media puts so much emphasis on romantic love because it makes the most money, and ultimately other forms tend to take a backseat,sigh.

Friday, February 14, 2014

I Like Black Lipstick



      I want this poem to represent more than just how much I love the color black but more so the affect we have on people when we're living our truth.Coming across genuine people is rare and they are so inspiring without even knowing it.Genuine people who are honest and true to who they are inspire those who are afraid to be themselves.
When I was younger I admired many people from celebrities to even some of my peers for their ability to be so comfortable in their own skin.Many of them were just doing what comes natural but it spoke volumes to me and motivated me to truly step into who I am.Leave a comment below about someone who has inspired you to stay true to yourself.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

TMI Tag!!


Hello ladies and gents, I decided to do the TMI tag, Emmanuella of BlueViolet Hearts tagged everybody so I decided I'd be game.

1. What are you wearing? 
Pajamas
2. Ever been in love? 
Nah.
3. Ever had a terrible break-up?
Nah.
4. How tall are you? 
5 foot 7 and praying for that extra inch so I can be a glamazon.
5. How much do you weight? 
 10x15-4=?
6. Any tattoos?
One on my arm it says "speak with your heart", with a little microphone on the side.
7. Any piercings?
6.One in my nose, 2 in each ear and one in my cartilage.
8. OTP? 
Cory and Topanga.I would of said Shawn Hunter and Angela but I've always wanted Shawn for myself sooo...
9. Favourite TV show? 
This is quite difficult it's a tie between Living Single and Arrested Development.

10. Favourite bands? 
Pierce the Veil, Fall Out Boy and Paramore.

11. Something you miss? 
Having a sense of knowing where I'm going.I always have a plan but lately things have shook me up so bad, I don't exactly know what I'm doing anymore.All I know is I'm being active and I have a few immediate plans but as far as life goals, I don't know anymore.

12. Favourite Song?
At the moment it's Radioactive by Imagine Dragons but it's the version featuring Kendrick Lamar.

13. How old are you? 
19

14. Zodiac sign?
Leo!!

15. Quality you look for in a partner?
Physically: a super cute smile
Mentally: A sense of humor, consideration, compassion, loyalty and some other good stuff. 

16. Favourite quote? 
"If you're not growing you're dead"-anonymous 

17. Favourite actor? 
Shia Labeouf

18. Favourite colour? 
Blue

 19. Loud or soft music?
Loud

20. Where do you go when your sad?
My room or the bathroom to hide my misery.

21. How long does it take you to shower? 
I actually don't know, I've never timed it really.

22. How long do you take to get ready in the morning? 
15 minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? 
Hella close, but nah lol.

24.Turn on? 
Physically:Dimples.
Mentally: Sense of humor.

25.Turn off? 
Physically: bad breath
Mentally:Aggressiveness. I can't stand touchy guys who move too fast, like chill bruh.

26. The reason I joined blogspot?
Boredom

27. Fears?
 Spiders and failure.

28. Last time you cried? 
The other day I listed to On My Own from the Les Miserables soundtrack and I shit you not I cried like a baby.It was the most random cry ever, but the lyrics reminded me of my past when I wasn't as bad ass as I am now lol.

29. Last time you said you loved somebody?
Like Monday morning.

30. Meaning behind you blogger name?
My real name is Dinesha Johnson, and my nickname is Deejay and I added Speaks because this where I speak up and share spoken word.

31. Last book you read?
The Great Gatsby 
32. Book you are currently reading?
Nah lol, which is bad I need to find another book.

33. Last show you watched? 
The Middle.
34. Last person you talked to?
My mom.

35. Relationship between the last person you texted?
She's my bestie/sister.

36. Favourite food?
Pizza oh and Chinese Food.

37. Place you want to visit? 
LA, London, New York and Dubai.

38. Last place you were? 
South Carolina

39. Do you have a crush? 
Nope, but I have a few celebrity crushes.At the moment it's a tie between Michael B. Jordan and Tom Hardy but my top notch crush is and always has been Leonardo Dicaprio. I had a crush on Leo since before I knew what a crush was.

40. Last time you kissed someone?
Never eww, cooties!

41. Last time you were insulted?
Who would insult lil ole me? Lol, like yesterday night my mom called me a bad child lol she was joking thankfully.

42. Favourite flavour of sweet? 
Red anything.

43. What instrument do you play?
Do vocal chords count?

44. Favourite piece of jewellery? 
I've got a pair of statement earrings that make me feel like royalty.

45. Last sport you played?
Girl bye.

46. Last song you sang?
Drunk in Loooooooooooooooooooooove!!

47. Favourite chat up line? 
Do you know what material this is? Boyfriend Material.

48. Have you every used it? 
Nope.

49. Last time you hung out with some?
Last month.

50. Who should answer these questions next?
Everybody who reads this.

Naw Nogitsune



This post was inspired by a recent Teen Wolf episode so if you're not all caught up with Teen Wolf THIS IS ME TELLING YOU TO STOP READING BECAUSE IT'S SPOILER CENTRAL KAY. Okay so Stiles is currently possessed by a Nogitsune.A Nogitsune is a dark trickster fox spirit from Japanese mythology.
     There's this wicked scene where the mystery creep unwraps his face like the world's slowest mummy whilst going on and on about this riddle: "what does everyone have but can't lose". I'm screaming at the screen after a quick Google search, "A SHADOW DAMN IT, A SHADOW" and suddenly came up with this poem.
Obviously there's a darker side to Stiles hidden so deep, Stiles wasn't even aware of it.I'm all for personal growth so I strive to know all about who I am.Even if there's some not so pretty things hidden deep within me, I want to learn all about it because it's still me and I'm worth it.
  It never hurts to invest time in studying yourself.Once you become an expert on who you are, no one can tell you who you should be or try to manipulate you.Perhaps Stiles isn't too familiar with himself and that's why the Nogitsune found him so accessible to possess,but I'm just throwing out theories here so don't take my word for it, kay.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Sleep the Pain Away



If you follow me on Twitter(@Deejay_Speaks) you probably would of seen my most recent rant about letting things go.We let the little things from ages ago bother us in the present.I'm one of those people that when I can't sleep, I'll lie in the darkness and I'll have brief memories visit me.I'll remember that one time a kid picked on me, or I'll remember when I failed a test or how something embarrassing from like 5 years ago happened.
It boggles my mind, how when I'm trying to clear my head long enough to fall asleep all of the crud of the past seems to pop up, I have a theory for it.
All of the crap from the past can't sustain life when you're actively participating in the present so it sneaks up on you.When you're at your weakest right before you sleep,make yourself remember all of the good stuff that happened earlier in the day. Train yourself to think of happy moments before falling asleep because somewhere along the line you've trained yourself to do otherwise. 
I've been working on thinking optimistic and happier thoughts before falling asleep and surprisingly it helps.If you don't think this method will help your sleeping pattern, research and let me know about a few other happy sleeping methods because I'm always open to new ones.Sleep is so important towards success, making sure you wake up refreshed determines if those ideas flow out of you, or if you'll have to dig them out with a dull shovel.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

The Final Demon



          I'm going to tell you all about a demon I have. This demon likes to remind me of my failed projects and all the things I haven't achieved every time I start trying to make a draft of my poetry book.I keep telling the demon, this time it won't be like that, this time is different.The demon laughs every time I try to defend myself.
 This stinking demon is sitting back cackling at me.I decided to snatch the chair from underneath that damn demon and cage it.The sound of the demon  will be the soundtrack of my success. I'm not going to let any demons keep me from moving forward, in fact I'll use them as my motivation.
I decided to share this poem and little bit of prose because:
1.it felt therapeutic to write it
2. why not
3. writing it made it feel official-oddly

I'm not the only one who likes to write things down as a means of finalizing something, right?I don't know why but putting things into words makes them seem solid and more concrete.

Monday, February 10, 2014

A Different Kind of Monday



Don't let anyone tell you that your story has ended.As long as there's air in your lungs your journey is faaaaaaaar from over.Don't let anyone tell you that you have to stick to only ONE THING.Life is too short to border yourself up because you let some mislead person convince you that you can only be one thing,THEY ARE LYING TO YOU DAMN IT.
You can be as many things as you want, try as much as you want, pursue as many things as you want, because life is meant to be lived in many different ways, by many different people.
Take on this Monday recognizing the length of your personal freedom and be grateful for it,

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Regret?For What!


     Sitting around in regret is kind of like having an open cut and leaving it open for infection.By regretting you're leaving that hurt open to affect you in your present and future endeavors.I'm not going to hold myself back and harm my future over regrets. Wasting time regretting will become a regret in itself.
     You might be wondering where all of this is coming from but I've been thinking about my success story a lot.When I become successful I want to be able to tell people about how I struggled and overcame the struggle- not all of my regrets.So regret nothing...that is unless you've got the picture below tattooed on you somewhere

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Thank You Phillis Wheatley

(Let me know what you guys think of this new design for my poetry, or do you prefer the plain background?)
Do you guys every think about the ripple effect of your actions?Sometimes I think about the choices I make and if they effect more than just myself in the future.It's only natural to have a focus on your passion but do you ever think about who we touch in the process and in what way?
   This is why I adore black history month.The people we honor did more than make history, they created opportunities that African Americans use now.One person in particular I want to remember is Phillis Wheatley.
 Phillis Wheatley was the second published black poet and the first black female published poet,whose writings set the platform for African American literature.Phillis Wheatley followed her love of writing and inadvertently laid the stepping stones for someone like me to write and share my creations.Thank you Phillis Wheatley.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Justifying the Selfie




I like taking selfies.I like taking the time to look at my face and capture it's appearance in this point and time.

You want to know why I like taking selfies? Because when I take a selfie I am taking the time to not only acknowledge but also appreciate my physical attractiveness.When I take a selfie it's because I feel pretty and worthy enough of being in a picture.
  So seeing as how I don't have a photographer on hand I'll take the picture myself.What's wrong with taking the time to love your own appearance?What's wrong with relishing in a moment where your confidence is feeling high?
We live in a society where modesty and humility get confused with the act of hiding and feeling shameful.I can still be modest and love my appearance. I can still be humble and feel good about myself.I will never shame anyone for taking a selfie, take that picture and celebrate yourself!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

BIG SPARKLY EXCITING NEWS GUYS!!





Do you guys see the picture in the beginning of this post, do you guys know what it says??Do you know what it means?!It means my work is going to be presented in front of a large group of people at an actual blogger event!!
I'm so ecstatic about this opportunity and it feels good to know people are actually going to see my work.Dude, I shrieked when I saw the logo I'm even featured on the event's FB page, which you can see here Xpressiories Love Affair Fashion Bloggers Event FB page.
If you are a California resident make sure to check out the Xpressiories Love Affair Fashion Bloggers Event to have a ball(and to see me lol).
You all can check out the spoken word video I did for the event at my YouTube channel, http://youtube.com/deejayspeaking!

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