Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Underneath My Skin



I know what I want to do. In fact I've always known what I want to do, I just didn't believe I could do it. Many of us know what we want to do, but very few of us have the strength to actively pursue.There are very few people out there with the bravery,consistency and willingness to pursue the craziness that is their dreams. 
If I looked at you right now and told you I wanted to make a career out of my online platforms to  help me establish myself as a writer, journalist, and singer,you'd might think "why is that so hard to fathom?", some of you may actually cheer me on.
But when you take a glimpse into my mind there are all of these obstacles, challenges I made up in my head that will prevent me from making my dream a reality. I look at the women who have managed to make their internet platforms the foundation for their careers, very few of them look like me. My look isn't necessarily one that stands out, but it doesn't blend in either. I get caught up in superficial challenges such as my appearance, my race, where I come from that would prevent me from becoming who I want to be.
Then I have to remind myself that EVERYONE has had to start somewhere. EVERYONE has had these same thoughts, being afraid to commit to a dream because it seems so far away. EVERYONE has doubted that they have what it takes to achieve the things they want. What makes these individuals stand out is that they did it anyway. They published the video anyway, they uploaded the picture anyway, they wrote the novel any damn way!
Why did they pursue their dreams even when their reality says hell no. Because their dreams are underneath their skin, squirming around and leaving blessed runes in their flesh. Once I realized what I want to do, without editing it, without censoring my desires,I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. It's everywhere I go, it's there when I wake up sitting at the foot of my bed. It's in the mirror when I brush my teeth, waving hello provocatively.It's in every tear, groan, yawn, sore muscle, it's in every breath I take and every idea I create. 

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