It has been a very long time since I've used this platform and posted something to Deejay Speaks. I let her go to focus on other things but I think it's time I got back and redirected her purpose. You see Deejay Speaks was essentially an online diary. A place to rant and rave and share but the ranting and the raving stopped because well, I stopped.
Deejay Speaks is extremely personal to me and when personal issues started raining in I shut them away for the sake of keeping up an optimistic blog image, but then the problems began building up and before I knew they caved in on me. I didn't have the strength to share any of it here, so I've been harboring the pain. No one wants to hear about the bad day the blogger had and I was having a lot of them. Sometimes I think it's necessary to share some ugliness, the flaws are what makes us human, right?
Not every issue has a solution nor does it always come with some brilliant lesson. Sometimes things fall apart and they don't come back together or at least not immediately. Sometimes you fail not because you didn't try but because it was in the cards for you to fail and that's it. I know a lot of this seems depressing but this is apart of our reality. The harshness, the bitterness, the fear but there's always that strength that keeps us pushing anyway and I guess that's why I'm back here.
I spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I've been through what I've been through and why I'm sharing it with you. I guess it's because I find myself often looking for a blogger a lot like me. Someone who's real and flawed and emotional and willing to share, so I guess I can't find that blogger simply because, she's me and I am her.